This is a photo diary so the entry consist of random pics. I've been busy working and I really need to start taking care of my US visa bleeerrgh.

BTW sue me I spent my hard earned paycheck for Tokimeki Memorial girl's side 3 premium limited edition and a certain NDS game about a bunch of middle schooler playing tennis. I want to be ashamed of myself but I shouldn't. I DID ALL THESE OUT OF PURE LOVE.


( MIZUKI-SENPAI SAID I AM SO FUCKING KAWAII )

Good evening everyone, before I go talk about my trip I am just going to tell you that you can reach me via skype (dopamints) and googletalk (mesage me for this aha) too now. Life has been hard on me lately but I guess I'll just go on and survive!

Anyhoo, Hellomotion Fest was a GREAT SUCCESS!! I sold out some of my stuff and there's quite a plenty of buyers for our djs work. It was pretty great!

Thank you for my amazing boothmates and especially Nin who let me sleep/eat/trouble the people in her house. I didn’t get into the festival hall tho as I mostly sit around behind B31 booth or talking to vendor who sat next to me or too busy saying Hiiiiis to a lot of people. HF was a great event. So many people tho.

I also got a visit from Sou in which she gave me beautiful items from CF 2011 aaaahh~


( this is the morning when we have to set the table )

e-mail  me with your address if you want a card ( ducafe at live dot com), also your picks between these

• Hunter x Hunter card
• Sengoku Basara card
• Gintama Card
• Jesus Christ + Buddha (saint young men card)
• Damian Wayne card because I love him

limited time and slot so yeah, GOGOGOGOGOGOGOOO

new year is so near, guys :(

October haven't gone like I wanted, I have too much free time even with all my deadlines. I need to find something to do beside school and stuff. Also most of ppl on my twitter already know this but I recently DL-ed a gay porn parody of Fight Club because I thought the torrent link would lead me to.. you know, actual fight club with Brad Pitt and all.

Anyhoo, image update!


( Kino no tabi game getttttt -----shopping, my face, screaming about HxH and stuff )

Because adults are weirdos, said the prince. I couldn’t help but to agree.

Music annoys the hell out of me nowadays.

I don’t know what the hell is happening to my body but I feel it gradually getting weaker and weaker, both mentally and physically. I feel like all the medications I am taking are just making me feel worse instead.

I need a break from this kind of life, I need to go out and stop being sad all the time. It’s suffocating. I think a trip is needed but with this kind of health condition I am not sure. The only good time I can experience now is through books and sleep - though I limit my sleep time because I know if I sleep all the damn time I’ll get even more and more depressed.

I feel so isolated, I don’t like my life right now, I don’t like where I am in life.

Depression fucking sucks, man. You’d think it’ll only affect you mind but no, it goes like some heartless spiral to all over your body. There are days when I am just too scared for even breathing.

On another complainin’ thing, I am terrified of everything now, I am going to graduate in a year yet I have no idea what to do with my life. I am terrified and continuously terrified, as I am working as an intern I do feel like corporate work is not my life at all. I don’t hate it but heck I know I’d be a miserable piece of being if I keep being there.

I don’t want to be an adult, that’s for sure. I have no idea how my friends can face it. I can’t run from it. Everyone sees me as an adult, but no, I am not. Not yet. I am gripping in my last grasps of my youth.

Internship sucks so bad. I am all alone and the only intern there so I kinda get thrown here and there without fixed table and such. I am that awkward useless intern. Please kill me. Why am I so awkward idk.

I don't know if I will fit in there and all the skills I've learned at school is not useful at all, I need to le-learn everything slowly. And from my observation it seems that I have to work overtime almost everyday (from 09.00-22/23.00-ish) plus Saturdays also take home jobs. Not this Saturday tho because I will go to a theme park with Yuzu lol daaaattte jkjk.


my new room is tiny
Anyway, almost done setting everything in my room, I need to get a box or two tomorrow from ACE hardware for some items... maybe if I get home early tomorrow etc. I am so tired but I still have so many things to finish from my own personal project to work related stuff.

Give me some courage, dear big boss up there.

Why, now it seems that I finally get up to LJ again to rant haha.

Okay, I fear of everything now.

I fear that my skills won't up to the standard of the place I am going to intern at. I fear that I can't finish my finals accordingly. I fear that my mother's health is going to crumble again. I fear of growing up. I fear that I am unable to grow up. I fear of myself who doesn't know her own passion any longer.

I fear that I am growing to be an arrogant ass. I fear of this girl, who seems to hate me very much -- while I usually don't really care about what people think of me, but to be openly hated is one another beast. I fear that I will fail and had to abort every plans I have ahead. I fear that in some of these nights, I'll just open my eyes and lost everything I love.

I fear of anyone trying to reach me yet I also fear the feeling of loneliness.

What can I do with this useless self-contradicting self?

Ah, I want to go to a picnic.

So DC comics sucks, sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. How they dare do this!!11! Seriously, I know it's their character, but I am pretty upset here. What will happen to the singles isssue of Zatanna and Power Girl? What will happen to the younger characters? Also, how can they do this to Steph? Barbara had her time being a batgirl, let her be the Oracle, DC.

Now I shall meet Yuzu and Francisca to fling tables about this fuuuuuuu--------------

Anyhoo, it's my finals now. Wish me all the luck!

( to do list for events yada yada you've seen this on tumblr )

I'm just putting it here :)

I just can't give up here, can I? I need to promise myself to work even harder after being sad and lazy for the whole two weeks. What is this, this is so unlike me! I MUST BE BRAVE!!! I NEED TO BE!! Even though everything is kind of confusing right now... /sigh.

Anyway! Checklist!
[] me! me! me! image book (80%)
[] no copy print ad (40%)
[] no copy psa (20%)
[] basic butterfly animation (10 %)
[] poster for 34hs prom (10%)
[] textbooks you need to reaadd (1 out of 3)
FINISH YOUR PORTFOLIO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!

Oh btw, please fill in the contact post, people! I want to get in touch~ I also have twitter, yanno?

I love you all guys.

For real.

(in case you didn't get my IMs / tweet last night that is. Yes, everyone. I did sleep and I am exclusively hating chopinston rn tho. LE BATMAN.)