beethoven | Entries tagged with ffffaaaillll

Why, now it seems that I finally get up to LJ again to rant haha.

Okay, I fear of everything now.

I fear that my skills won't up to the standard of the place I am going to intern at. I fear that I can't finish my finals accordingly. I fear that my mother's health is going to crumble again. I fear of growing up. I fear that I am unable to grow up. I fear of myself who doesn't know her own passion any longer.

I fear that I am growing to be an arrogant ass. I fear of this girl, who seems to hate me very much -- while I usually don't really care about what people think of me, but to be openly hated is one another beast. I fear that I will fail and had to abort every plans I have ahead. I fear that in some of these nights, I'll just open my eyes and lost everything I love.

I fear of anyone trying to reach me yet I also fear the feeling of loneliness.

What can I do with this useless self-contradicting self?

Ah, I want to go to a picnic.

I can't afford to fail.

I can't afford to fail.

I can't afford to fail.

I can't afford to fail.

Someone.. just... tell me that I can pursue this and make for all of my absence. Because I have to.

Current Mood: apathetic

Do you have the moments of going to a cake shop and you stepped out from the shop feeling like a failure?

As in, I stepped into this new fancy cake parlor with fresh money in my wallet and told myself : "today, I'm gonna have strawberry shortcake DELUXE as my afternoon snack!". But when I saw the cakes displayed, all of them look so great. Chocolate, blueberry, cheese, creamy, tiramisu everything look so good. Terrible. My determination ruined completely. I... couldn't choose. Then I left the shop buying nothing after 20 minutes of cake staring.

But then again how can someone make a choice between strawberry shortcake DELUXE and tiramisu special? That's inhuman! Now I got nothing sweet to enjoy and my entire body hurts. I am a fail human being... This is such a harsh harsh world to breath in! *angst*

Gotta start do some laundry and packing my suitcase. Less than a week before my departure to the land of rising sun. I also need to shop for some household needs, what a bad time to have both sweeper and washing bucket broken.

Aaaaaaaaah, I know I know, life is so boring without school. BRB rolling on my floor and complaining about things you don't want to hear.

Ps :

airysh I'm sorry if I kicked you in my sleep last night. It's only because even in my sleep, I'm trying to do my best! Thanks for stopping by though, and I am too apologize for the mess that is my room. Next time drag

ninprime to my place too, k? We will max Masamune's level together!11!

Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Tom Yhorke - Black Swan | Powered by Last.fm

First of all:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALICE!
I'm not sure you're reading this, but anyway, happy birthday to you, dear. Hopefully the UK will give a nice day and weather in your special day.

Been a while since I sew things. In the morning I downloaded a dress sewing pattern from the net and tried to sew it with leftover fabric and my mom's old flowery skirt. Not wise, because I know I still have papers to do but procrastination has its own way.

It wasn't great, the dress doesn't really fit, forgot to wash my covered with dust hands when I cut the fabric and it's really messy. I need to take this dress to be corrected. Because the dress is really plain, I made this weird brooch from a cheap plastic pendant and white lace to spice up things.

I dipped the used to be white lace into a cup of hot coffee 8D.

( the dress itself )
REVIEW & COMMENT TIME! (Otome Drama CDs and Basara asndasknds)

Kiss x Kiss Collection 04 : Kusemono no Kiss (Ruffian's Kiss!?) If you think Heart's medicine, counting sheeps, Zodiac boyfriend, husband catalog CDs was weird, then you have Kiss Kiss collection.. a drama CD where voice actors sound like they are kissing you (the listener)... I haven't listened all 6 of them, but I know for sure that this one is enough to make me faint with awkwardness. Thanks to Mugen who pointed that this series has Yuichi Nakamura lol, and he's using his confident Graham Aker's voice to voice the character. The character is practically an alternate version of Graham. ~~Yanno, me + listening Graham's sweet nothing inside the bus + awkward theme of this CD = GYAAAAAAAAAAA /hits head to the window and scare the person who sat next to me.~~ Japan sure is weird. What's next?

Amano Issei is the name of the character represented in this CD, he's blond, his custom colour is blue, he's a pilot candidate who's going to the same school with you. He also like to kiss. And from the kissy and slurpy sound effect provided I can say that he's a messy kisser. And when I say things like that, it sounds so wrong.. huh? Anyway my favorite track is track 7 because jealous ~~Graham~~ Issei is really cute.

Kiss x Kiss CDs released so far : Adult's Kiss (FujiKei), Devil's Kiss (YusaKo), Battle Kiss (YoshiHiro), Ruffian's Kiss (NakaU1), Superior Kiss (Ookawa Tooru), and Butler's Kiss (OnoD)

Starry Sky Date CD: Taurus is blergh. I dislike Kira Yamato from Gundam Seed, I mean, as a cracky character, I like him in Gundam gags and everything, but other than that, Kira can go to the hell along with Shinn Asuka. Souichirou Hoshi is using his Kira Yamato in this CD, even the personality sounds like Kira, makes me feel kimoi (in a bad way, not in Midorikawa Hikaru's lol kimoiii-way). By far, this is the Starry Sky Date CD that I don't like, I can't wait for this month's Yusa Koji's Gemini.

Basara 11 was all thing amazing, Date and Yukimura combo = &hearts! But I still need my lovely Okra. What is this JC Staff? So you think Motonari is only good for his gymnastic ring skillz at the episode one? You gave Koojurou loads of screen time but no loev for my green bug!?? Warrghhhh. /fangirl rage

Ahhh, I need to get back to my paper now, writing this was a pretty good release. And The Office Season 5! Eeee, thanks for the DVDs, Kia! I'm having great time listening to Michael's nonsense while doing things &hearts

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Dwight Swearing

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